I have had some realisation today. The last one month has been a little dificult with the behavior of my toddler. It is not his fault, toddlers naturaly are trying theyre boundarys. It just hapened that me and him have spent most part of the last one month indoors.

We was going to a mother and child play group at Church from when he was 9 months!! At 2 years they start to go with out the mother for 2 hours 4 mornings in the week. In the start I was very frightened and said I did not want him to go with out me,, my husband, my Priest and the paeditrician said it is good for his social skills. Sure enough,, they was correct, my son become very much more calm at home, and his language skills improved very much.

Then situations come up that I was feeling it was better not to send him for some time. Many of the kids had viruses, and my boy had already had chicken pox and a bad cold. I did not want to risk a other sickness. And a family situation meanet that he was going to visit extended family less. Normally he was with his God mother or aunt or grand mother 2 hours 3 or 4 days in the week. Grandmother (my mother in law) has health problems and has been in the hospital, She had a surgery yesterday and thanks to God, she is doing well. (85 years old).

My son started to become very bored only with me all of the time and started to behave different. Hitting me and throwing things at me. Naturaly, when you feel pain you cry out! I noticed this reaction made the behavior more worse. The reaction to bad behavior encouraged more. It was like he considered it a “game” when he received so strong reaction to hurting mama. Then come the destructive behavior, I do not mind when he hits down the blocks we have just builded,, that’s normal. It is boys being boys and I think it is them understanding cause and affect. But for real reasons I started to have a problem with climbing in furniture and throwing ornaments! My reaction would be a strong “Oxi, kako!!” And shakeing my finger. It come to the point that he would anticipate this “kako!” (Bad) and say it and shake his finger to me before the word was even off of my tongue. And smileing also!
For the more part, it is normal toddler behavior, But it become that it was all his wakeing hours. We had a situation in the play area that he hit two other kids, and I knew I really had to change my approach to this new agresive behavior.

I decided that if we was in the house when the bad behavior occurred, I would not acknoledge it. I would ignore it. I would wait for the next good thing he did, and praise it more than normal. (Clapping hands and saying bravo!). I noticed that when I do this he wants to repeat the good behavior more. To give a example, he is now not throwing his food in the floor too much. He helps to put his Legos in the box. He did the last days the more adoreable thing ever, I was applyeing my make up and when I finished and set my cosmetic bag to the side, he took it and put it in the drawer that I keep it in. With all of this good behavior I make sure that he knows I am so proud he is being such a good boy. It is working. Reward is a much more good insentive than is punishment. And that is not only for children!! I think so we must focus less on the bad and more on the good behavior of skme one.

https://www.google.gr/amp/s/www.tilegrafima.gr/arhontariki/christougenna-to-thavma-tou-agiou-geronta-paisiou/amp/

“Ὁ Θεὸς βοηθάει ἐκεῖ ποὺ πρέπει, ἐκεῖ ποὺ δὲν μπορεῖ ὁ ἄνθρωπος νὰ ἐνεργήση ἀνθρωπίνως· δὲν θὰ βοηθήση τὴν χαζομάρα μας. Ρεζιλεύουμε ἔτσι καὶ τοὺς Ἁγίους.

Ἀλλὰ καὶ ἂν εἶχε διάθεση νὰ κάνη αὐτὸ ποὺ μποροῦσε νὰ κάνη καὶ δὲν τὸ ἔκανε, γιατὶ κάτι τὸν ἐμπόδισε, ὁ Θεὸς θὰ τὸν βοηθήση σὲ μιὰ δύσκολη στιγμή. Ἂν ὅμως δὲν εἶχε διάθεση, ἐνῶ εἶχε κουράγιο, ὁ Θεὸς δὲν θὰ βοηθήση. Σοῦ λένε λ.χ. νὰ βάζης τὸ βράδυ τὸν σύρτη στὴν πόρτα καὶ ἐσὺ δὲν τὸν βάζεις, γιατὶ βαριέσαι, καὶ λὲς ὅτι θὰ φυλάξη ὁ Θεός. Δὲν εἶναι ὅτι ἔχεις ἐμπιστοσύνη στὸν Θεὸ καὶ δὲν βάζεις τὸν σύρτη, ἀλλὰ δὲν τὸν βάζεις, γιατὶ βαριέσαι. Πῶς νὰ βοηθήση τότε ὁ Θεός; Νὰ βοηθήση δηλαδὴ τὸν τεμπέλη; Ὅταν λέω σὲ ἕναν νὰ βάλη τὸν σύρτη καὶ δὲν τὸν βάζη, καὶ μόνο γιὰ τὴν παρακοή του θέλει τιμωρία.”

Sometimes I think how crazy it is that in this so busy world, there are people lonely. We come together in our family’s and groups and have fun and we some times forget about the people who do not have it. Maybe we are not conciusly tryeing to forget it or ignore it, maybe sometimes we just can not even see it.

 

Especialy when we are in the younger part of our lifes, sometimes we are very busy and focused on other things. It can be very overwhelming, especialy if you are more introverted. There is so much to do, and if you are a parent you know that for sure! My father was a man who loved his schedule, in sickness in his last year’s it become more pronounce I think so because that is some thing he could control. Every day at 7 pm his favorite show come on the television, He liked to have his dinner at 6.15 so he would be relaxed ready to watch his favorite show. There was days I would feel overwhelmed with that in the last one year of his life. There was days I would give his dinner and not sit with him to watch his show, I would make myself busy with some thing else. If in that time I knew it I had only months remaining with my papa I would have sit with him all the time. I am sure he was feeling lonely many times that I was busy with the baby, or busy cleaning up and did not sit next to him. And then the times even I was not busy but I would go to my bedroom and sit to “breathe” for 2 minutes than become 10 minutes. I wish I could take back that, I wish he never ever was feeling lonely. I comfort myself by remembring he knew how much he was loved. And he was blessed with daughters who adore him.

 

Older people and sick people some times feel lonely very much. And I said above there is so many of us in this world, why must even one of God’s children feel lonely? My father was blessed because he had his daughters  (And we was blessed to have him). Some times I think about older people with out family and it makes me sad for them. I think we must all try to take some one in to our life who does not have many people. We will be company for them but we also gain very much from them. I talk very much with a older lady recentley who has had a dificult life God bless her. But you know we can spend 2 hours on the phone late at night!! Imagine – me 27 years old and she is 70. But we just can talk talk talk. We are not different, old and young. There is no reason for some one to be lonely. I want to make a effort to make friends and time for more people that are older and who do not have family or many friends.

 

 

Who is excited? I am feeling very excited. You know that feeling you have as a child when you can not sleep Christmas eve because you are too excited for the morning? I still feel that way,, I thought so most people did, but my sister says she does not get that excitement any more. I have friends who say the same. I feel sorry that they lost that feeling because it is the best time. As a child you are more excited for presents,, but as a adult you are excited about much more. About your children opening theyre presents, about the food, about the Church services, family, dressing up in your good clothes, bakeing, decorating, Christmas music, seeing other people open theyre presents.

All the advent period is amazing because it is a time for the anticipation of the joy we are going to feel on the birth of Christ. It is time to fast and to reflect, to prepare spiritualy  (And also physicaly because in the feast days we will eat too much!!)

Think of what the birth of Christ really means for us, the presents and lights are beautiful but they are made even more beautiful and exciting when we keep it in our mind and heart the real reason for this season. And if we are able we must to try to reach out to people lonely on Christmas. If you know some one who will be alone in Christmas, try to make space in your heart and table for them

Blessed 1st December. May your advent period be filled with love and anticipation for the birth of our Savior.

 

Back when I was not married and not a mother,, there was a local tavern I was going to most week ends. It was far from a high class style of place, it was more like you go there if you do not have much other social life (older people), or you live on that same street. For me it was both,, but I was younger 😃. Friday night was the night I go with my papa. We would sit next to the fire and sit and talk about many things. We loved very much to observe other people and try to understand theyre character only by watching. We would talk also about the news, about life, all. When I was more young, one of my father’s complains about me was that I was too open to talk with others. That I did not have enough caution. I am introvert but I think so I am friendly so in response I was friendly. It hapened one night that one man,, I think so 67 years old, come to our table. My father did not know him so he was feeling hesitant to ask him to sit with his,, so the man went back to sit in the bar.  He was sitting and looked very lonely so I said papa, he looks lonely. My father could not resist this argument because he had a soft heart. (One of the softest I have ever met). So Mr. Evripides come to sit with us. And he was a character. Very interesting man. More people would not come close to him because he had very bad cough, which would produce mucus. But I supose I have a strong stomach for that because it never stopped me and my father to enjoy his company. Every Friday night in the tavern. He had a small dog name Chryso  (Goldie) and he always being inside with him  (now you understand it was not high class establishment- dogs inside 😃).  He give to me wisdom many times, he was good to me and my papa, he give to me compliments, he told us about Canada where his daughter lives. He was alone here. He had recentley returned to his home village. At the time, I did not understand the reason for his return.

It passed on some weeks, I remember one night he ask me if he can have a photo with me. I say Yes, for sure you can. We took photos. He told me he thinks so I am good woman and good daughter. That touched me in my heart very much.

 

The next week Mr Evripedes and his dog was not there. And the 2 weeks after. I asked the owner in the tavern and he said he was dead. He had lung cancer and knew it for long time he was dyeing.

 

It broke my heart,, because I felt so I admired so much his strength that he did not even say to me and papa that he was sick, he just was enjoyeing his last days. And because I know his daughter was in Canada, he did not have wife,, I know it was only him and his dog.

 

From this time, I said to myself, if you look some one looking lonely or looking sad, be FRIEND to them, be next to them, listen to them and apreciate. We do not know what they are enough stoic to pass in that moment. For that I remember with very much live and admiration Mr Evripides, the man and his dog.

 

May his soul rest eternally in peace.

I just listened to this song for the first time. It is very beautiful.