I have had some realisation today. The last one month has been a little dificult with the behavior of my toddler. It is not his fault, toddlers naturaly are trying theyre boundarys. It just hapened that me and him have spent most part of the last one month indoors.
We was going to a mother and child play group at Church from when he was 9 months!! At 2 years they start to go with out the mother for 2 hours 4 mornings in the week. In the start I was very frightened and said I did not want him to go with out me,, my husband, my Priest and the paeditrician said it is good for his social skills. Sure enough,, they was correct, my son become very much more calm at home, and his language skills improved very much.
Then situations come up that I was feeling it was better not to send him for some time. Many of the kids had viruses, and my boy had already had chicken pox and a bad cold. I did not want to risk a other sickness. And a family situation meanet that he was going to visit extended family less. Normally he was with his God mother or aunt or grand mother 2 hours 3 or 4 days in the week. Grandmother (my mother in law) has health problems and has been in the hospital, She had a surgery yesterday and thanks to God, she is doing well. (85 years old).
My son started to become very bored only with me all of the time and started to behave different. Hitting me and throwing things at me. Naturaly, when you feel pain you cry out! I noticed this reaction made the behavior more worse. The reaction to bad behavior encouraged more. It was like he considered it a “game” when he received so strong reaction to hurting mama. Then come the destructive behavior, I do not mind when he hits down the blocks we have just builded,, that’s normal. It is boys being boys and I think it is them understanding cause and affect. But for real reasons I started to have a problem with climbing in furniture and throwing ornaments! My reaction would be a strong “Oxi, kako!!” And shakeing my finger. It come to the point that he would anticipate this “kako!” (Bad) and say it and shake his finger to me before the word was even off of my tongue. And smileing also!
For the more part, it is normal toddler behavior, But it become that it was all his wakeing hours. We had a situation in the play area that he hit two other kids, and I knew I really had to change my approach to this new agresive behavior.
I decided that if we was in the house when the bad behavior occurred, I would not acknoledge it. I would ignore it. I would wait for the next good thing he did, and praise it more than normal. (Clapping hands and saying bravo!). I noticed that when I do this he wants to repeat the good behavior more. To give a example, he is now not throwing his food in the floor too much. He helps to put his Legos in the box. He did the last days the more adoreable thing ever, I was applyeing my make up and when I finished and set my cosmetic bag to the side, he took it and put it in the drawer that I keep it in. With all of this good behavior I make sure that he knows I am so proud he is being such a good boy. It is working. Reward is a much more good insentive than is punishment. And that is not only for children!! I think so we must focus less on the bad and more on the good behavior of skme one.